One of the most gut-wrenching moments in Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Name is realizing there is an expiration date on Oliver and Elio’s time together. Their relationship defied societal expectations, geographical borders, and yet, for as beautiful as it was, it couldn’t stop time. Much like Ammonite.

It takes a lot of courage to be able to give your whole heart to a person, especially faced with an obstacle as monumental as distance (where handwritten letters are the only source of communication).

In Francis Lee’s period drama, Ammonite–based on a true story–Mary Anning (Kate Winslet) and Charlotte Murchison (Saoirse Ronan) face a similar fate after falling into an unexpected love affair. But with a concrete end date in sight, I wonder if the eventual heartache is worth the temporary happiness?

We can’t help who we fall for. Blame it on the pheromones, loneliness, what have you, we know that connecting with someone on a deep level doesn’t happen too often.

The platonic relationship in Ammonite, between the seaside dwelling Mary–a renowned fossil hunter–and the married Mrs. Murchison turns into something more over the course of six weeks after which Charlotte is scheduled to return home to her husband and life in London. Mary and Charlotte throw caution to the wind as they get to know each other beyond guarded exteriors. Mutual stimulation, both mental and physical, draw them in like a moth to a flame, as if this is the first time they have been truly seen.

Almost immediately after the trailer for Ammonite dropped, it was being compared to Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire, perhaps justifiably so. Both tell a fragile love story between two women and their attempts to conceal their growing relationship. Plus, we get more Victorian garb and mesmerizing beach scenes.

However, the major difference here is the basis of Ammonite‘s love story. There were a few times I was questioning if, given different circumstances, these women weren’t just trying to make something fit into place to fill a void.

For Mary, Charlotte could be a distraction from her solitary lifestyle and sudden death of her mother. For Charlotte, who is outwardly reeling from residual trauma from the death of her only child, Mary could be another vessel in which to pour love into.

I don’t doubt that what these women had wasn’t love, and maybe modern dating has turned me into a little bit of a skeptic, but it feels to me that these women found a co-dependent relationship rather than a happily ever after.

Loving and losing someone is painful. Our heart is fragile and deserves to be given to someone who can properly care for it. And while love may look different for everyone, I think there is one thing that most of us can agree on: loving and losing is better than never having loved at all.

Distributed by NEON, Ammonite is now playing in select theaters, on-demand Friday, 12/4.