Filmmaker Erik Osterholm has quite an impressive resume. A multi-Emmy award-winning executive producer and director, he’s worked on such award-winning unscripted series as CNN’s Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown and HBO’s VICE, which took him to all seven continents and some of the world’s most remote corners. However, the most incredible journey he takes, captured in a new short documentary that he co-directed, might just be his most unbelievable yet.
Related: ‘My Dead Dad’: Honoring a Loved One with a Unique Sendoff
In the new short documentary My Dead Dad, a young woman brings the exhumed skeleton of her recently deceased father on a road trip, to honor his final request. Co-directed by Osterholm and Abby Ellis, the film is mind-blowing, and moving to watch. A jaw-dropping adventure that must be seen to be believed, the film is as much a meditation on mortality as it is a celebration of life. In our exclusive interview, Erik talks about getting involved with the project, the first time he saw the skeleton, and how the film shaped his thoughts on life.
Cinemacy: My Dead Dad is a short documentary (25 minutes) that follows a young woman honoring the final request of her recently deceased father: to bring his exhumed skeleton on one last road trip across the country, to eventually be put on permanent display in his former high school. Forgive me, but can you please confirm once more for the record: that this is all real??
Erik: Haha, yes, it is. No one can be totally sure of Christopher Gray’s original intentions (nor were instructions left for his family), but this was his request and one his daughter committed to uphold.
C: I have never seen anything like this story before. It’s all quite jaw-droppingly shocking! What was your reaction when you first learned of this story?
Erik: The story is fantastic, and I immediately wanted to know more. I loved that it was a journey. And that a family was trying to fulfill an (avant-garde) dying wish.
C: You are listed as one of the film’s co-directors, alongside Abby Ellis. How did you meet and what was your creative starting point together?
Erik: We met working together on a VICE documentary series for HBO, and we stayed in touch over the years after both going our separate ways from that show. But I originally connected with Olivia (Christopher Gray’s daughter and the film’s subject) and her story. I knew I wanted to work alongside a talented director/editor who knew how to craft a story and structure, and immediately thought of Abby. I was delighted when she responded as positively to the story as I had, and we rolled up our sleeves and dove in.
C: Do you remember seeing Christopher Gray’s skeleton in person for the first time? What was it like shooting the scene where the forensic scientist brings it into the room for his daughter Olivia to see for the first time?
Erik: Yes, I remember seeing the skeleton for the first time when we went to film with Dr. Hunt. This was before Olivia had seen it as he was still working on rearticulating Mr. Gray’s skeleton. It was shocking… there is a subtle but tangible feeling that this is real; it’s not a fake plastic skeleton, but this is real bone, and this was inside a real human being.
The build-up to Olivia’s first seeing her father’s skeleton was palpable. She was awash with emotions ahead of it but as you see in the film, she quickly moves from astonishment to recognizing her father.
C: We eventually learn about the man himself, Christopher Gray, an architectural historian who covered the Streetscapes section for the New York Times while alive. What lessons do you feel the film communicates about appreciating the history of something from a time that’s passed?
Erik: No one knows Christopher Gray’s original motivations, but it’s hard not to make the parallels between the skeletal structure of a building–which sees many lives and histories pass through it over the years–as well as the skeletal structure of a human, and the years, lives and histories that it similarly lives.
C: What challenges did you face while making the film?
Erik: Logistically, we were right there with Olivia and her family as they tried to sort out moving Mr. Gray’s skeleton. Needless to say, that proved to be, quite challenging.
And then you add the emotional aspect of this journey and story, and you have the makings of a great film. It requires a thoughtfulness that other projects sometimes don’t. But that is a good thing. It’s what makes this project so special.
C: The film has such a cathartic, life-affirming tone, but also such a lightheartedly comic one. In particular, I’m thinking of the scene in which Olivia’s young family members see Christopher’s skeleton during the Christmas holiday together. Did you have an idea of what you wanted the film’s overall tone to be beforehand? Did it change while shooting, or in post-production?
Erik: We always thought this should be lighthearted and warm because that was how both Christopher Gray and his family approached life.
With that said, the story itself is the meaning of the journey. Its commentary on life and death shows how we celebrate the ones we love after they pass. It’s deep and serious and we never wanted the film to veer too wacky or comedic and lose that emotional weightiness.
C: One of the messages in the film is to “Let that freak flag fly, and be whoever you want to be.” Can you talk about what this message means to you, having now made this film?
Erik: Olivia shares that quote in the film, and it’s something her Dad reminded her of often. Like any good journey, it’s not the destination that is the point, but how the trip changes you that matters. In this way, I think Olivia reflected on how much her Dad told her to follow her path and ignore any idea that said what she did, liked, or desired could be considered weird or strange, and to just be yourself.
Sometimes the wisdom and messages we receive in life don’t land immediately, but take years to sink in. I think being on this posthumous journey with her father reminded her of one of the core messages he kept reminding her to hold.
What has the reaction to the film been like so far?
Erik: Very positive! This is a wacky, heartwarming, and beautiful story that we hoped would inspire questions about how we treat death and loss. And it appears to be landing.
C: I’m curious to hear your thoughts on mortality before making this film. What do you think happens when we die? Did that change after going through this experience?
Erik: I have produced several stories around the world including in conflict zones and the aftermath of disasters where mortality and the finite nature of life are very present. It makes you think about how much you need to cherish the time you have, and I think this film helps reinforce that.
As Olivia and her family try to fulfill their father’s last wish, they also spend more time with him, doing the things he loved and always asked them to do with him.
C: Do you have any newfound advice for people who lose a loved one?
Erik: Olivia would be best positioned to advise on the loss of a loved one, but I think what I have taken away from this is how important spending time with the ones we love is. And that when loss eventually comes, there is room to laugh, to cry, and most importantly, to celebrate the lives those people lived while mourning their absence.
C: What is the future of this film, and do you have any future creative projects?
Erik: I have always imagined this story to have a second life as a scripted feature, which is a format that would allow you to dive into who Christopher Gray was as a New York Times writer, and build out the backgrounds of his family and characters and to lean even further into the questions of life, death and how to connect with the people we have lost. More updates on the scripted film adaptation, coming soon!
To follow Erik Osterholm, visit https://www.eosterholm.com/